Joining The Freemasons.

going to be " made . " Grasping me warmly by the hand , he Avished me success through " the trying ordeal . " He spoke Avith emotion and his eyes dimmed as he referred to the T . 0 . What could it mean ? Oh ! my prophetic soul , the poker .

April 14 . —ForeAvarned may be forearmed . So I have rehersed the poker business , and remembering that horses stand fire , and Red Indians stand torture when practice has inured them to it , tried hoAV near to my nose I could stand the red

hot thing , and found nothing but actually touching made me shrink . "lis a pity respectable Masons must be branded like convicts . Branched and soda-watered may be endured , but branded simply is repulsive . April 15 . —After a Avakeful night my

nerves have settled , and I feel ready for " the trying ordeal . " Have promised to tell my Avife everything , so she is quite willing I shall be a Mason . How Avives do like to know everything ! 0 Eve April 18 . —Was " made" all right and

proper last night , and feel pretty Avell , thank you . When I went home after the ceremony , 'Maria Theresa let me in , took off my great coat , had ( unusual favour )

my slippers on the hearthrug , and ( also unusual favour ) a particularly nice supper ready . Before I could eat she sat doAvn in front of me and said in a voice of anxious expectation , " ] S OAV , my dear " ( she generally calls me "Mr . Battleaxe , "

or , if in good humour , " Ben" ) , " UOAV , my dear , tell me all about it . " It really was hard to disappoint her , for though we ' ve been married twelve years , I IOA'C her still ; hut the VOAV , the VOAV ' tlie thing ! So I broke it as gently as possible , that by the

soleninest of oaths , involving more than she could conceive , I was bound to remain silent concerning Avhat had passed . I assure you I did not even smile , for Maria Avheresa in her Avrath is a fearful and Avondrous spectacle . But Calcraft ' s Avhi

p Avould not have frightened her back just then . She persisted . Sadly , yet firmly , I remained mum . Then Maria Theresa Avas seized Avith tantrums . Ye gods and little pigs , such tantrums ! The table shook and my eyes blinked as she

emphasized her anger . Nevertheless , I Avas firm , Avhereupon she rushed off to bed , and 1 heard her draAv the bolt Avhen she had banged the door .

April 21 . —Though tAVO days have passed Mrs . Battleaxe has ' t spoken yet . To-day I made a playful allusion to the Deaf and Dumb Asylum , but she didn ' t take the joke . Shall write to Brother Hesketh and explain my domestic troubles ; for he must have gone through it all , and can advise me .

April 24 . —At last my wife has spoken . She says she ' s written to her mother to come aud stay a month Avith her . "A month , " she says . Hum ! " It may be for years , and it may be for ever . " Chorus , " It may be for ever . " April 27 . —I haven't heard from Sir

Thomas , but mother-in-law has come . This is shabby . Apo-il 28 . —No letter yet , and my wife remains as surly as Old Boots , The mother-in-laAV reinforcement has so sot her up , that to-morroAv I'll send a UBAV

bonnet as a flag of truce . There ' s a mysterious charm in bonnets neAV , in sealskin jackets and iu petticoats blue . May 1 . — -Wish I had registered my letter to Hesketh , for it must have gone astray somehoAV . I have received several

letters of congratulation upon my becoming a Mason—one from Davies , the tailor ; one from Hall , the shoemaker ; one from Eaglesfauld , the hosier—all Masons , they say . Each encloses a trade card .

May 6 . —Go to Lodge somewhere every night . Have jolly evenings , very . The foul fiend still haunts poor Tom ( that ' s Maria Theresa ) , but I take no notice noAV —go to Lodge instead . May 8 . —Receive more letters from

Masons , enclosing tickets for concerts , balls , dinners given by brethren , and asking me as a brother , to support this and that . It strikes me I ' ve married into a big family . There are more people Masons than I suspected .

May 10 . —Six Masons called on me this morning before I Avas up , and nine Avere Avaiting in the street , asking me to do something or other . Couldn't I pass off my head clerk as me , instructing him to do the civil cut ? For really there are a

great many Masons . It is possible that each of them has his own Maria Theresa at home , yet , is it not melancholy as he remembers her reproachful eyes ? But I go to Lodge every ni g ht . The banquets are splendid . Yes , banquets . Eating