Jimmy Jackson An' His Bad Wife.

jjuno- hiz heead , an' leeakt az doon spcrritted az a fella weel cud deea . At t' last t ' wife sez tiv him , sez sheea : —¦ " Whativver ' z t' matter wi' tha te-neet , Jim ? Thoo leeaks clcsprit doomkessen . " Beeath t' wife un' Ben axt him all manner o' questens . Waz he bad ? Hed he neen fallin' oot wi' onnybody ? Waz onny of hiz frinnds cleead ? At t' laug hist Jimmy telt 'em 'at t' maister hed bagg'd him .

' ¦ ' Bagg'd thoo , Jim ? " beeath t' wife an' Ben shooted i' yah breeath Tha nowdor on ' em wad believe sike an' a thing ! Jim lied werkt fer him fer seea mouny year , an ' tha bed nivver bed a word o' clifferin' ' at onnybody hed heeard on ! Tbcr mud be sum mistak . Jimmy sed nowt , bud thing hiz foluith ' s nooatis on tit tceablo . T' wife cud n ' t read , bud sheea handed it at yance te Ben , an' axt him te deea seea . Ben teeak oot hiz spectikels , wiped t' glasses wiv a clean kooaner ov hiz jiocket hankntcher , an' leeakt az sollom az a judge .

Ben read it tiv hiz sel' fost , an' then read it up tiv Jim ' s wive , wheea leeakt az if sheea did n't knaw wheer te put hersef . "Ah ma' weel seeam te be doon'd ! " sed Jim . " May n't Ah ' , think ya beeath !" " Thoo ' z gitteu t' sack hard eneeaf , Jim , " said Ben . "Ther ' z neea tweea ways aboot that . '' " Thoo mun bev been deeain' summat varry bad , Jim , ' at thoo dar' n't awti wiv , " sed

Jimmy ' s amyubbel cumfotter . "Ah seer t' maister wad n ' t ha' bagg'd tha fer a triflin' faut . Thoo an' him a wins seeam'd te git weel on tegidder all t' year-s thoo ' z been wiv him . Bud what ' z tha thinkin' o' deeain' 1 Ah ' z nut gahiu' te hev thoo slaisteriu' aboot oot o' wark , Ah can tell tha . Thoo mun fimitl thesel' annuddor job rklcly te start on be t ' tahm the fotnitb ' s nooatis iz oot , mahnd that , awd chap . Ah deea n' t intend te clem /

" Whyah , ' ' said Jimmy , " Ah waz thinkin' az Ah cam alang yam ' at it wad be a gud thing if we wer te hev a cantin '—sell all up—an' gan' tiv America . " " Ah ' 11 gan' neean tiv America ! " brast in hiz wife . " Gan' tiv America , i'deed ! NutferJooasnff !"

" We ha ' e neea bairns te bodder uz , " sed Jim , " an wa meeght cleea weel theor . " " What muu wa gan' tiv America fer 1 " axt sheea . " What the' ' 11 be wark te be gotten i' Inglaiid , if nobhut tha likes te leeak oot fer ' t . An' what ' z t' youz o' draggin ' yan ' z beeans owwer t' sea , an' leeavin' all yan ' z best frinnds behint yan ? " " Whyah , Mally , " sed he , " thoo ma' pleeaz thesel ' , bud Ah aim o' gahiu ' . Howsumivver thoo can think 't weel owwer , an' tell ma be Mnnda neet what thoo meeans te deea . Thoo can owder gan or stop , thoo knaws . "

Jimmy thowt 'at he wad giv her tahm te tawk it owwer wi' Ben , az he waz varry weel sheea . wad deea az seean az tha wer be ther awn tweea sels ; fer he wer i neea spot wiv her wheer Ben com , wahntpooher Jimmy . When dinner-tahm com o' Munda , an' Jimmy waz set leetin' hiz pipe , te smeeak ou hiz way back te wark , Mally spak up , an' sed : —¦

"Ah ' ve meeadup me mahnd aboot America , Jim . " " Hez tha ? " axt Jim , " then what ' z tha think o' deeain 1 " " Whyah , we'll gan , " sed sheea . " An' Ben sez ' at he ' 11 gan alang wiv uz . He hez az miteh brass az 'll tak him . ; an' we can all ludge tegidder , seeam az wa hev deean ; an it weeant be seea dull fer uz az if wa went wiv wersels . He can git plenty o ' wark theer , teer ' z neea doot . " '' Just az ya like , " sed Jimmy . " Just az ya like ! Ah ' z willin ' . Bud Ah muu call

an' see t' bockshineer te-neet , az Ah leeave wark , aboot t' cantin ' . We mun ha ' e t seeal at t' end o' t' futnith , thoo knaws , Mally . We'll gan te Liverpeeal te be richly f ° r a ship o' t' Munda efter t' nooatis iz oot . " Mally set te wark az brisk az bottled yall , an' gat all ther things riclcly fer gahiu ' , "n sheea gat Ben ' s things riclcly an' all . An' Jimmy bed a gud seeal ; t' things feteht a fair price , an' Jim felt rayder prood when he gat t' brass intiv hiz britches pockit . When Munda com , tha all three set off t' Liverpeeal . Az seean az tha bed gittcn