The Velocipede Expedition Of Playfair And Puggings.

set off to drag the velocipede over the ditch . Mr . Playfair , of course , did his best to frustrate the donkey ' s design , ancl began to pull the reins with all his might , while Mr . Puggings paddled away his hardest , evidentl y thinking to keep the donkey back by so doing . It was an unequal match , however , for the two friends were only making their debut in that line , ancl not understanding the machinecould "not get" as they termed it" force of on" as

, , , any power , though all power was not force , and all force power , of some sort . How far the donkey is naturally a very stupid animal , ancl how far his habitual obstinacy has been engendered by long ages of ill-usage , is a problem one hopes will be gradually solved by the increase of enli ghtment among the people . Of most of those one meets with in Christian England , in this nineteenth century evenwe may truthfully exclaim in the language of the elder

, Coleridge : Poor ass ! thy master should have learnt to show Pity , best taught in fellowship of woe ; For much I fear me that he lives like thee , Half-famish'd in a land of luxury .

Certainly the ass yoked to the velocipede , like his uncivilized owner , had benefited little by "the march of intellect , " and as our friends paddled , or rather , attempted to paddle , forward , the animal , who was so far turned round as as to form an angle of ninet y degrees with the vehicle , pulled quite in a contrary direction . The contest could not last long at this rate . The donkey was fast getting the best of it , ancl had alread y got his fore legs into the ditch , when Mr . Playfair jumped offand keeping hold of the reinsand planting his

, , heels firmly into a sod at the edge of the ditch , pulled with all his mi ght backward . The donkey still persisted , and pulled forward . Mr . Playfair , almost doubled up , and sweating as though he was in a Turkish bath , kept pulling back " with might and main . " The unwonted exertion was beginning to tefl upon him ; the buttons of his unmentionables were fl ying one by one , when he was joined by his friend , who clasped him round the waist , ancl bent into a like

posture—that is to say , as much as a very fat gentleman could do so , and who , though he reinforced Mr . Playfair , lightened the vehicle considerably . The " tug of war " was at its height , when suddenly the reins snapped in two , and . the sod upon which they were standing , which had been sinking unobserved for some time , gave way with them at the same moment , ancl the two friends were pitched head-first into the ditch , with as little ceremony as " a couple of Ford ' s knaves , his hinds , " threw Falstaff from the buck-basket into the Thames at Datchet Mead .

The donkey finding himself at liberty , immediatel y darted forward with the velocipede , which overturned and stuck fast in the middle of the ditch , much to the delight of a group of mischief-loving lads , who , unobserved by the two friends , had been watching the whole proceedings from behind thehedge where they had been bird-nesting , and who now came running up , the foremost of whom , on arriving , shouted to his

companions" Hurrah , lads ! here s a jolly lark ; three donkeys stuck i' the mud !" Immediately there was a volley of cheers set up , amid which the two unfortunates managed to scramble up so as to regain their feet , and gazed from the ditch on their tormentors , who seemed merel y to regard the whole affair as a capital bit of fun , ancl laughed , and shouted , ancl whistled , as Tom Hood truly sings

Turning to mirth all things of earth , As only boyhood can . The vehement demonstrations of rollicking m $ b on the part of the lads , who were totally regardless of the feelings of the tormented ( for most lads are sad wild Indians m this respect , all for the want of proper culture ) , was eventually quieted by the offer of a reward of five shillings to the first that should bring them help ; upon which they all setoff in a fine race to the nearest