Odds And Ends Of Wit And Humour.

ana an easy delivery . Mark Lemon says that the anxious consideration of the various opinions of a multitude of authors , too numerous to mention , Avas a conviction that to define wit Avas like the attempt to define beauty , Avliich , said the philosopher , was the question of a blind manand

, despairing , therefore , of finding a standard of A'alue he gathered from every aA'ailable source the odd sayings of all times , and leaA'es his readers to discover their Avit aud humour .

Where so great an authority as the late Editor of Punch finds it difficult to define Wit—you Avill hardly Avonder if I fail to eliminate from the depths of my inner consciousness a proper definition of so comprehensive a subject . I suppose whilst

gravity aud gaiety go side by side , pain and pleasure almost hand in hand ; Avhilst light and shade remain to diA'ersify the face of nature , and night and clay divide the short span of our life into equal portionsso wit and humour will help to brihten

g the melancholy of our lives , and pathos , soften and beautify the exuberance of mirth . Some authors seem unable to be anything but grave , whilst others are incapable of being anything but funny . Occasionally we come across a man of genius like

Dickens or Tom Hood , Avhose Avorks abound with passages Avhich at once provoke laughter and tears . Can anything be more pathetic than the "Song of the

Shirt " and the " Bridge of Sighs . " Can anything be more humorous than Hood ' s " Sally Brown , " " John Jones , " " Mary ' s Ghost , " and " Death ' s Ramble "—brimful of puns—and they are puns Avorthy of the name , not the sort introduced into our burlesques—( burlesques of Avitindeedthey

, , often are ) noAv-a-days ! And take such poems as the two on Autumn , by Hood , —Avhat a vein of melancholy runs through them both . They are real poetry , but the tone of sadness running through them points as it were to the

sadness of his life—a sadness the result of poverty and ill-health—and not on account of his domestic relations ( unfortunatel y , but too often , the cause of misery Avith authors ) , but which , Avith him , were of the happiest character . How is it that so many authors living and dead are , or have been , the lwerse of blessed in their connubial relationship ? One great writer beats his Avife ;

another ' s Avife is in a mad-house ; a third is taunted on the hustings by the lady of his choice with the iniquity of his conduct Avhilst a fourth is left to mourn his caro sposa , she levanting Avith some one else . Poor Tom Hood Avas a good husband and

good father ; Avould it could be said of all our great literary men , past , present and to come . Think of Swift , the author of " Gulliver ' s Travels , " "The Drapier Letters , " and "Tale of a Tub , " and his loves Varina , Stella , and Vanessa . One he married , Stella ( Hester Johnson her real name Avas ) , and the others broke their hearts for him ,

Vanessa ( a Miss Vanhomrigb ) Avrote to her ( Mrs . SAvift ) to ask the nature of the connection . Avith the Dean . The letter Avas sent by his Avife to him , and he rode OA'er to Marley Abbey , Miss Vanhomri gh ' s residence , and flung the letter on the table before Vanessa in a rageand

in-, stantly left the bouse . Vanessa , Avho loved him dearly , and had worshipped him for years , as she thought she had a right to , perceiving the fierceness of his passion , and the hopelessness of her affection , was oA ercome by disappointment . She sank at

once , and died in a feAv weeks . Stella Avas said to be very Avitty . She certainly said some good things occasionally , and some which Avere dreadful in their bitter irony and sarcasm . A gentleman Avho had been very silly and pert in

her company at last began to grieve at the loss of a child lately dead . A bishop sitting by comforted him—that he should be easy because the child Avas gone to heaven . " No , my lord , " said she , " that is it which most grieA'es him , because he is sure never to see his child there . "

When she was extremely ill her physician said , " Madam , you are near the bottom of the hill , but Ave will endeavour to get you up again . " She answered , " Doctor , I fear I shall be out of breath before I get to the top . " Sterne , too , another clergyman , strange

to say , was equally faithless in bis relations to the fair sex , and Avas always making love to other ladies besides his wife . He married in 1741 , having ardently courted the young lad y for some years previously . In Avriting to her at that time , he Avinds up , after dwelling on the delights of marriage , "As I take up my