Mr. Muggins' Love Story.

She said "Good day , Ephraim , " and then rising up , her hand still clinging to his , hoAvever , introduced him to me . If he had let go her hand , I should probably have heard the name , but I had neither ears nor eyes for anythin g but that clasped

aucl mute evidence of loA'e between them , Avhich sent a sickening chill to the very centre of my jealous heart , and rendered me blind and deaf to everything else . Ordinarily my conversational powers are second to feAV or none , but on this occasion

all my thoughts and ideas seemed to pour iu a torrent through one jealous channel , Avhile etiquette demanded that I should appear to ignore the possibility of there being a rival Avithin a thousand miles , ancl that I should converse Avith the utmost

hypocritical nonchalance imaginable . I Avas never equal to tbe requirements of a hypocrite , however , ancl so I turned aAvay and sat down at the piano , and tried to drown my sorrow iu the Black-key Mazurka .

There was a deal more black-key than mazurka in my attempt to drown sorrow in that lugubrious way , hoAvever , I am grieved to say . I confess I did not like the aspect of things at all . This same giant of a fellow

I had seen prowling about the streets the Saturday before , but I had not the remotest idea he knew Rosa Myrtle . " Well , " I thought to myself , " I will sit here ancl drum on the piano a Avhile , ancl if the felloAv has any breeding he -vill soon take the hint and leaA'e . "

But my attempt to sit him out did not meet witb the success that I had counted on . There tbey still sat , band in band , and talking in low , earnest tones , as if they Avere all the Avorld to each other , and I—well , if the piano stool had been cushioned with pins ancl needlespoints

, up , I couldn ' t have been nijre uncomfortable . I thought of a thousand expedients for getting rid of him , but none of them were practicable . He was such an overgroAvii and over-towering specimen of humanity that any physical effort to dislodge him

did not seem feasible , to say the least , and any hints in the Avay of side glances and " a-hems" seemed entirely thrown aAvay . So , at last , I gaA'e up in disgust , and took my departure , as full of wrath as I could possibly bo , and not explode , aucl Avent away meditating some scheme of revenge ,

This sort of thing Avas kept up for a Aveek . Wherever she Avent , he Avent , and Avheneverl called at the house , he Avasthere . In short , I learned that he stayed there night and day ; and the jeers ancl insinuations of my friends didn ' t make matters any better . I Avas jealous—there isn ' t the

slightest use in denying it . I felt jealousy creeping up ancl down my back like cold chills , boiling up in my veins like volcanic lava , ancl burning and freezing me by turns till I was almost , if not quite , mad . It is barely possible that other young

men have been in precisely similar situations at some time or other during their lives , ancl if so they will fully appreciate the condition of mental agony in Avhich I existed during that long-to-be-remembered Aveek . Sleep 1 Not a Avink . Eat 1 Not a

mackerel . Life Avas a dreary burden . I thought I would see her and have an explanation , but wherever I found her , I found him ; so that plan failed . I consulted Avith a friend , a dare-devil sort of fellow , who advised a duel , by all means . He wouldn ' t waste Avords . He believed in

prompt action . I left the Avhole matter in his hands , and the result was that a mortal encounter Avas settled upon , as the best method of dealing out unlimited satisfaction to all parties concerned ; and one cold ancl drizzl y morning I found myself pacing up and down the banks of the river Avhere Ave had

appointed our meeting . My faithful second accompanied me in my lonely Avalk . Presently my detested rival appeared . I grasped one of the pistols , and might bave shot him dead on tbe spot—or shot at him , at least , —if my second had not said" Don ' t shoot I Avait for the Avoid I "

On came my rival , like a tornado , never pausing till he stood directly over me , when he seized me by the coat collar and plunged me into the river , pistol ancl all . " 1 don ' t Avant to kill you , you little nincompoop , " said he ; " and as for you , you couldn ' t hit the side of a barn . " All the

while he was sozzling me up and CIOAAUI in the Avater . " I ' m no rival of yours , " said he , " I'm Miss Myrtle ' s brother I " I Avas entirely satisfied . Yours contentedly , EPHRAIM MUGGINS . Voice of Masonry , America .